mar2007-june2007

2008-07-03T00:06:00.003+08:00

so hungry suddenly,
had to microwave frozen stuffs to eat in the mid of the night.
didnt eat a full meal today.
but so far my tight diet has been going on rather smoothly.
1meal can jolly well last me for a whole day.
anything else, i would be too full.

hadnt been able to find work yet.
but no fret.
bcause i enjoy being a parasite and a loafer nw.

jus had my first day of sch ytd.
class was v small.
prev my class had slightly mre than 100.
now this class only had ard 50 i think.
no handsome this sem also.
both lecturers i had are females.

im gettin very emo right now.
jus gulp dwn a big can.

suddenly feel that my life is gettin really messy
whatever happen to my thinking?
why is it gettin swayed now.

no i have to reorganise my life now
throw out things that shouldnt belong
if i can do it in the past, i can do it now
jus that i couldnt stand the loneliness anymore

couple of hugs, anyone?

2008-06-29T15:23:00.002+08:00

friday was crazy.
went ecp 7eleven and bought a couple of drinks.
then shoot to sk plaza 7eleven and bought another 1bot.
and in the end i went crazily drunk.
until i couldnt even stand.
and i was slping in my bathroom for god-knows how long.
until mummy came and help me out.

and the bloody hangover last for 1 whole damn long day.
i hate the hangover of vod and redwine.
vod makes me headache.
and the taste of redwine jus couldnt get away.
totally insane.

the hangover makes me really want to quit drinkin for gd.
ya since so many stupid things happen when im drunk,
i should really quit drinkg for gd.
;)

2008-06-27T15:35:00.002+08:00

nope, job interview didnt call me up.
im somehow glad as well.
bcause im gettin used to doing nothing at home.
not feeling useless anymore. ;)
is that gd news or bad one?

and i did went for lunch with the sales ppl at osram.
wanted ter to fetch me to the beef noodle stall,
but they claim they have meeting aftwards.
so can only eat nearby hawker.
super disappointing.

im foregoing clubbin for mv tonight with sec sch friends.
yea, im also abit sick of the drunk feeling.

btw i was running my usual 2km route.
then while i was under my blk resting and smoking.
i saw jj on the way hm frm work.
so i kinda force him to change and we went running to punggol and back.
and nw my leg still hurts slightly.
dont think i'll be able to wear heels out tonight.

2008-06-24T11:15:00.002+08:00

me jus went for an interview,
both the office and i cmi.

headcount only 3 ppl.
office is even smaller than my own bedroom.

me had 'block' throat during interview.
guess i was pretty nervous.
and keep clearing my throat.

and so they say, i'll call you.
which i really doubt they will.
and i hope they wont.
even thou i can learn a full set of accounts,
but its too independent. and quiet in the office.

hais. i wanna go back osram.
too bad they nt recruiting p/t.

might be meeting osram ppl for lunch tml aft visiting.
squeeze it into my schedule, if i can.

btw, went ecp ytd night for din @ the food village.
food was yummy. had seafood.
i love ecp!

and yawn, im going to slp soon.
im too sad and disappointed with my performance and the job.
XC

2008-06-18T15:09:00.002+08:00

ytd was a pleasant surprise.
shurong couldnt wake up for sch.
so ytd i acc her to the doctor and she acc me to bugis
and we went swimmin together.

funfunfun.
havnt gone out like that since a long time.

2008-06-16T23:01:00.002+08:00

ytd was weird and amazing.
went dimsum at crystal jade.
didnt ate so much prawn in my life.
i was kinda prepared for that.
so i ordered lime juice.

amazingly, my throat didnt give me any problem.
usually, when i eat 1 single siewmai, my corner of my lips would swell
only way to overcome is by drinkin smth extreme or tea.
so i guess it kinda like, the sour taste win the prawn taste.
so it doesnt get swollen. or smth likdat.

but prawn sucks.
must be that i dont usually eat prawns.
that's y i think that prawns doesnt taste gd.
also, im turned off by the fact that the line in the middle of the prawn is shit.
and most restaurant doesnt pull that string out.

anw i finally bought my watch.
even thou i haben start workin ytd.
but it was a loan frm mummy dearest.
cus she's been helpin me find jobs, so she know im not slacking.
and since gss is here. so why not grab the disc now.

so me a happy happy girl now.
except at night most of the time still super lonely.

oh and. im going on a diet. i swear.
i cant carry on stuffing random food down anymore.
its unhealthy, the way im eating.
so im cuting down, and dont worry because im not starving myself.

2008-06-14T18:39:00.002+08:00

i think im going crazy.
thought of going out today since my friends are free.

slpt till 4pm since i was out drinkin ytd.
woke up, wanted to accompany mummy.
but too late and she didnt wanted to go out.
and she bloody watched her cantonese drama that nv seems to end.
and i had nothing to do cus she's watchin in on her com.
and the screen is small.

so i went back to slp.
slpt till ard 5 or 6pm.
my friend called and ask me out.
i told her i was going out.
and she accused me of abandoning her.
hell.
and i had to cancel my shopping and smsed my friend
that mummy's not happy that im going out.

what have i done wrong.
if he hadnt left us likdat would things turn out this way?
i hate him.
i hate him for leaving me to clear this rubbish.
i hate him for leaving mummy.
i hate him for makin mummy lonely.
i hate him for obstructing my life.
i hate him for indirectly causing me to be quarantine at home on wkends.
i hate him for lettin mummy work so hard on wkdays.

im in a super foul mood nw.
i wan to dig him out and
slap him
punch him
scold him
strangle him
murder him.

but where do i start?

2008-06-13T13:07:00.002+08:00

WARNING : v PMS-y post.
(yes, i think its coming.)

basically, its all written over the prev post.
i feel so out of place with the world.
while everybody is doing their part earning money or studying,
then im at home doing smth non-productive.
i hate this kind of feeling, suddenly feel so useless.

and what i do at home is nothing.
no one is at home everyday.
i jus sit, daze or stone. otherwise, telly, com or slp.

and i think im to frugal smtime.
i was thinkin of going compass shoppin alone.
when on 2nd tots, i think i wont be able to find any gd bargins there,
so i'll jus be wasting my busfare to and fro.
so therefore im staying at home.
and everybody is too busy and ignoring me.

i feel like im quarantine at home instead.
maybe i should jolly well join some socialising co.
but just the tot of it makes me feel like puking.
i feel like there's smth wrong with me nw.

what should i do...

2008-06-12T18:06:00.002+08:00

had my monitor replaced today.
there was some prob with the screen.
i packed everything, including the wire and gave it to the courier.
then who knows the new monitor doesnt come with the wire.
i think it doesnt.
either it doesnt or i misplaced it when i unpack the box.

so i had to wake up earlier then 1pm
and wait for the courier bcause it says 1pm to 5pm.
great.

me so bored.
i cant find a job.
im doing nothing at the moment.
i feel so lost and useless.
=(

2008-06-11T01:16:00.003+08:00

wa so shiok this feeling.
i jus finish my exams.
however, its nt the end yet.
im resuming sch on 1st of july.
that's fast right.
and im lookin for a job alr.
because i've set my eyes on a watch.
haha.

hope i got somewhere near,
then i can have more time to slp man!

ahh, money grabbing and studying....
im coming, unfortunately.
two at a time.
i've nv guessed this day would come.
I AM SO BROKE MAN.

2008-06-05T22:39:00.002+08:00

today is hella of day.
i went to sch and reach at 10.
couldnt find a seat in the study room.
didnt have a choice, so i went for breakfast at mac.
then headed for home automactically.

reached home less than 5mins then dwayne offer me to send me to cdac near nchs.
but it wasnt open and i dont know why.
so desperate means call for desperate measures.
headed to tamp library while dwayne went to sch.
too bad all the study tables were occupied.

stayed at the library for abt an hour then dwayne finished sch.
so went back with him.
went hg plaza for i dont know whether to call it lunch or din since it was ard 4.
and ate kway chap which is too heavy a meal for teabreak.

then went home and snore.

what should i do tml.
what if the same thing happens again.
what if i cant grab a seat in sch again.
what if i dont have a choice anymore and have to go home again.
i hate the chinese nationals.
argh....

2008-06-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

half-time for exams.
nxt exams is coming monday.
so i have ard a few days to relax before intensive revision again.

like totally scary, the exams.
the first paper was taxation.
consisting of 5questions.
time allowed was 3hrs and 15mins for reading the questn paper.
and i had just enuf time to stop writing when the exam sup says
"the exam stops.. now."
haha.

then today came the corporate and business law paper.
wrote all the way as well.
wrote for all i was worth.
jus keep thinkin in my mind, write rubbish better than write nothing.
haha.
so i threw in whatever related, whether relevant or specific or not.

so exhausted.
i nv knew sitting for exams 3hrs and 15mins per day for 2 days was so tiring.
plus the aircon at rjc multi purpose hall was so cold.
then 20mins to exam end, they'd off the aircon,
then it becomes damn suffocating.

argh, i prefer my expo.
at least i can meet up with cheryl before exams.
and at least i can smoke JUST before i go in for my exams.

yawn.. so drained.
gonna go to bed soon.
anw i had din at kovan with dwayne tonight.
yummy yummy. the gd ole taste, the gd ole place.

2008-05-31T13:38:00.002+08:00

im so unhappy now.
very not happy.
mummy stole my 19inch monitor and replaced a 17inch for me.
and im not gonna get used to it!
so v small.

argh.....
and i gotta reformat my com now.
i hope it'll turn out ok since i always make a mess when i reformat.

2008-05-29T20:18:00.002+08:00

die, most prob drinkin again tml night.
tell me. how can i concentrate on my exams!
and my exams is just 3days aft today.
uh oh.....

anw i went crazy today, aft studyin at sch.
i went shoppin ard ps and spent crazily alone.

and oh yes, the cust serv nowadays really sucks.
thinkin back the days where i was still a sales assistant.
comparing, its really bad now.
hais.

2008-05-27T22:12:00.002+08:00

i think im gettin overstrained!
even thou i've nt really been studyin intensively,
but im still getting tired aft awhile, despite slpin at 12 everynight.
compared to previously, i slpt at 2.

and and,
my injured leg has muscle aches nw.
my good leg's feet was sprain by tt day and have nt recover yet.
and my right hand suddenly feel so heavy and strengthless.
very 'suan', they call it.
must be ytd, pushin myself ard the hse.
then i feel so feverish nw, must be due to being drenched in drizzle
came home, didnt bathe first then went to bed immed.
then, most of all, i have a sore throat.

life so bad to me when exams are coming. damn.

2008-05-26T18:09:00.003+08:00

cheryl's birthday celebration was fun.
but i fell down on my way home.
i know its v stupid to fall down at my age.
but mind u, i was getting tipsy and walkin ard with a 3inch heels.
haha. and the wound is like small kid while playin catching and fall down tt kind.

wonder how long will it take for the scar to go away. hmms.
and plus i cant walk now.
the wound dried up and i cant stick my leg straight.
so i cant walk. yes i cant walk.
i've been pushing myself ard the hse sitting on an office chair.
and so i didnt do any studying today. cus i cant go sch by myself.
so sad lor. one day of pubbing and i lost so many days to study.
namely sunday and monday.

anw the present for cheryl.
its a very sweet and girlish musical box. from me and anthony.

2008-05-23T22:22:00.003+08:00

happy 250th post in this blog.

and i've cried twice jus nw. within an hr can.
first was cus of the telly. the bloody 9pm .
the show was so sad.
make me cry for 3 days straight.
either im too tired then i cry or cus the show's really sad.

ok then when the show finished, i went back to my room.
then on the way i step on a bloody grasshopper!!
the small young grasshopper was only as long as 1/3 of my small finger.
then i fuckin step on it.
and i cry and whine like a small kid.
stomping on the flr shouting for mummy while crying.
didnt stop crying until i ran to the bathrm, washed my leg throughly
then ran out. and mummy gave me a great big hug.
then my crying stop.

ok it may seem silly but pls dont judge other ppl by what u fear/do not fear.
diff ppl have diff level of tolerance.
and i simply cant tolerate stepping in insects or touching birds, cats, dogs.
maybe polar bears too, despite i love them to bits.
if really one day, i were to accidently touched a cat, i think i'd cry for e whole day.
if one day i were to touched a pigeon, i think i'll cry for a wk.
and therefore having depression and traumatised by it for e rest of my life.

my stomach's v bad aft eating pineapples.
but im off to boatq nw.
GD NIGHT!

2008-05-21T18:17:00.002+08:00

i didnt go studying at sch today.
i couldnt wake up.
at the time where mummy was suppose to call hm and wake me up,
then i call her first and tell her:
dont wake me up.
i wan to slp, dont want to go sch revise today.

then i set my alarm few hrs later,
thought tt maybe i'll go sch at a later time.
and in the end i woke at 1.30pm.
bloody shit.

and i had nowhere to go.
so i went to skcc, also to the postoffice to do smth.
then i stay for ard 20mins at skcc to study.
then went roaming ard compass.
sat the the library's kids corner, cus tts the only place which has a table in the whole library.
LOUSY LIBRARY.
the kids were fucking noisy.
i almost wanted to scream at them.
yes i hate children.

oh oh, and i bought cheryl her birthday present too.

2008-05-20T18:32:00.002+08:00

i went back to school to study today.
there were 3 study rooms available in the morning.
2 of them were at 2nd flr, which i'd need an access card to get into.
and which i can, no. im suppose to get the access card for fking 8dollars.
and which im so stingy and i dont want to pay cus i dont have classes on the 2nd flr,
neither do i need access to the library.

so i went early in the morn.
thinkin tt woah. so early, sure got seat at the 4th flr one.
the study rm were open at maybe 9.45?
i reached at 10 and all occupied can??!!

and then i had no choice to go sneaking ard the 2nd flr and see if there's anyone tt opens the door and i can mingle my way in.

i sneaked in successfully.
then aft an hr plus i wanted to smoke.
so i went roaming ard the area, and everywhere, they need an accesscard to get to.
even out.
then so i went loithering ard the exit, waiting for ppl to tap out.
haha. it was damn funny.
and luckily it was their 15mins breaktime, so alot of ppl were going in and out.
and aft smoke, still alot of ppl.
so lucky me. if not i'll have to be locked outside with my books + bag inside.

then comes 1pm. quickly rushed to th 4th flr and chop a seat in the study room.
else would be all occupied.
like so kaisu rt.

and i forgot to bring my writing pad with me.
so i went to the material collection area and asked if they're selling.
then they gave me a stack of plain a4 papers.
how sweet.

and to conclude, imma gd girl today.
i stick my stupid fucking butt in the classroom from 10 to 5.20pm.
nt counting the times i went out to smoke la.
i even forego my lunch break.
i bought burger in the morn and munch em in the aftnn while revising.

and... i saw handsome.
yea i saw handsome.
I SAW HIM. haha.
i saw him while i was on the way to 4th flr to find a seat.
and i saw him a few hrs later when i was in the study room.
someone came in, open the door.
i looked up, and i saw handsome walked past and glanced into the room
so coincidence rt. RIGHT??
muahahahhaahhahah.

2008-05-19T15:42:00.002+08:00

i am v pissed off by my lecturer.
because of the notes she gave.
so bloody messy tt i cant even study.
and i feel like im wasting my time trying to read the lecture notes.
cus the same bloody thing can repeat itself for afew times throughout the notes.

the messiest notes i've ever rec'd in my life.
and she can even tell us, yea the notes is abit messy.
u all should try to rearrange the notes urself.
fuck.

still, handsome notes is the best.
clearcut and straight to the point.
yes, i wont be able to see handsome until july or jan i think.
then i'll be attending his class again.
either im repeating on july because i failed this sem
or going up to a higher module on jan which he's gonna be teaching as well.
or unless i see him randomly by the corridor.

gone were the good old days of ogling him in class.
ops.

2008-05-17T20:51:00.003+08:00

i went over to mall for take away dinner and on the way to buy cigg downstairs.
i dont know what's wrong with me or what
but everything turns out wrongly.
like as if i have a 'bully me' written on my forehead.

i was queuing for my mac when suddenly a small boy splash water on me.
he was holding on to the old nike waterbottle which when u press,
then the water squirts out.
yes, he squirt the water on my leg.
i turned ard and he gave me tt innocent face.
with the waterbottle nozzle facing him, not me.
like as if trying to tell me, not me mdm, not me.
i feel so bloody *(^*^%^%*&.
u dont expect me to scold him or what right.
even thou i badly feel like hitting him on the face.
not even a sorry.

so sadly and helplessly, i could only give him a disgusted face and turned ard.

nxt, i went to buy cigg at the shop below my blk.
near my blk to be excat.
a young man was on shift then.
by a young man i mean ard my age. and he has a fking attitude prob.
his face is like. those norm ppl see alr will want to slap him.
like those "kiam pa bin"
i've seen him ard the shop a couple of times alr.
but today, i went to buy cigg and i gave him a big note.
so he changed 4notes of 10$ for me.
and he fking put the notes on the counter.
and the notes was like, messy.
some were folded into halves, some were facing the other side.
which means i had to spent like a few secs to rearrange the notes,
and i only had 1 hand to do it cus i was holding on to my dinner with the other hand.

so, does my face really look like as if im gd to bully?
if not why did 2 diff person bullied me within half an hr.

2008-05-14T20:13:00.003+08:00

went for visiting today.
broke down in tears today.

pms and pre exams stress.
need i say mre?
im jus too tired. every small thing makes me cry easily nw.
even the big rain today.
i was talkin to qiangqiang then suddenly a loud thunder rang.
then i cried..

aft the visiting session was over, i stood facing the carpark
while waitin for korkor to collect my bag.
i told korkor "eh see that sp there, look like qiangqiang de bike hor"
then he say "later go there see carplate lor"

then aft tt we ran to the carpark to shelter frm the big rain!
and really!!! his bike. his stupid 7719. haha.
then i went over to have a closer look.
everything was still the same except his and my name were gone.
haha.

so coincidence.

then i went over to tp to study for the exams.
stayed at the library mugging for 2hrs straight.
then sr came back to tp and fetched me to sk.

slpt like a log until mummy was so furious tt she actually screamed at me to wake up.
haha. cus if i cont slping, then i wonldnt be able to slp at night..
then tml morning i'll be v tired.

i've been hitting the sack only at am 2 for almost a few days alr.
and waking up as early as 8am.
i know tt 6hrs of slp which is actually enuf for adults.
(p/s: 8hrs is for old babies and young children.)
but u throw in the stress, misc.. not quite enuf.

and i lived my life like a bullet train for the past few days.
sitting down and thinkin abt it nw, idk what im rushing for.
but the problem is that i cant help rushing!
i cant help being 'kiasi'....

anw im not going joggin ard.
my leg feels too fragile nwadays to go jogging.
stew says im old alr.
haha. and nw i feel like my arms looks like a drumstick.
i wan to do some pushups but im too tired to do so.

im off to the telly nw, then muggin for exams.
which is just 18days away.
btw im going to the sgflyer on sat. so so lookin forward.

2008-05-12T23:45:00.002+08:00

im in a v much mood not to blog.
im bored of blogging.

however, more bored of studying.

the idea of sneaking out has been appearing in my head.
and the goddamn friends keep on drink drink drink.
its really hard to confine myself at home.
esp when the long wkend is coming ard.
and everyone elses goes drinking man!

anw i had sch today. the same module for 6 hrs, excluding an hr break.
so i sit in class for tt hour break too.
and resulted in numbness in backside at ard the 5th hour.
like so poor thing.
i had to concentrade. then my backside is hurting me.
i wish i could bring a cushion tml.
else, a bed would be better right.

seriously, im alr blinded by the material world alr.
so blind until i dont feel anything already.
maybe simplicity is still the best choice of all.
but simplicity doesnt equates to poverty.
would u be able to meet the necessary demands for daily stuffs nxt time?
sorry but i doubt so.
i wish i could say it right to ur face.
but u know i nv will.
because im still living in the childish world where love is bigger than anything.
u locked me in.
somehow, i want to get out.

2008-05-07T23:59:00.003+08:00

i am in a bad mood today.
im so angry with mummy.

she didnt ask me if i wan dinner or not.
she'd asked me last time.
nw she didnt.

and i was so bloody hungry.
and pissed bcause she didnt buy dinner back for me.
so i actually went to rivervale mall specially just to get my dinner.

when i came back, she said.
"u go down mall and buy dinner ah.
like i torture u likdat."
then i said.
"no meh. nv even ask me want what for dinner"

hais. life..

p/s: i've started setting up my study corner.
which was abit late compared to last time.
there's only less than a mth to the exams.
which normally, i'd set up the studying corner 1mth since the exam.
and stop using the com or going out.
but this sem, im totally not interested in studying anymore.
im starting to get real damn lazy.
and im so so damn lookin forward to the post exams period.
mummy's alr considering a holiday.

yea, let me get away for a while.
im really sick and tired of all tts happening ard me.
gonna collapse soon.

2008-05-04T15:48:00.003+08:00

shawn met me up for supper at jln kayu.
he changed new car!
then we ask paul if he wants to join us.
then he rejected us.
aftwards when we left jln kayu alr then he said he wanted to come down.
indecisive! haha.

theni met up with kh.
went for Ironman midnight ytd @amk.
very nice! and very handsome. haha.

and then aft the show kh and me went past buangkok.
and he showed me the kampung style houses.
which i was 'wahhing' all the way.
who'd guess behind the urban blks of buangkok,
there'll be a stretch of hses made of wood.
then i reach home at 5am.
and collasped on bed before kh reached home.

but anw, ironman was nice.
the 2hr movie is worth catching!

2008-05-01T00:09:00.002+08:00

i went studying at mac with kh today.
we're like so power.
althou most of it doesnt get into my brain.
but we stayed there for ard 6hrs.

but my eye starts to get dry cus i woke up early for visiting today.
so we went home at 8.

might be due to the fact that i've been in a bloody good damn mood lately.
we laughed alot at today's visit.
the good old times.
i jus cant help but to laugh at anything everything.
stop my too-good mood pls.
btw im having lessons on tml, which is Labour Day.
but im still all smiles.
wipe that smile off my face!

calm comes before storms.

2008-04-27T15:50:00.003+08:00

mummy jus bought a new pitcher ytd.
which comes with a filter.
and inside the filter is carbon fibre.
and so, we're suppose to wash the filter before filtering the drinking water.
and the water used for washing the filter turns BLACK.
and a little bit of carbons in the water.

had to wash until the water runs clear.
and then we drank. guess what!
the water tasted sweeter. haha.

and the water is super clean.
looking thru the transparent pitcher, u cant even spot an unidentified object by eye in the water.

and i bloody feel like going shopping today.

2008-04-26T00:09:00.003+08:00

i feel so alone all of a sudden.
all thanks to the humongous pimple tt jus popped out.
and so there goes my wkend.
unless i cant really tahan anymore then i'll jus go out.
which i think i really might.

argh... go away. this feeling of loneliness.

p/s i hate ppl who only think of themself.
but then again. who'd love them?

2008-04-24T22:38:00.002+08:00

my neighbourhood was damn nosiy jus now.
there's this voice shouting at a constant tone.
then comes another voice shouting KB LA.
repeating twice.
haha. damn happening.
and the kpo me looked down and saw......

nothing.
except for a man walking his dog.

im stucked to my keyboard for the past few days.
as in the piano type keyboard.
been trying hard to play MoonRiver.
and i bloody hate my left hand.
feels like cramping when i try really hard to press all the keys.

anw, yes cramps.
my body's having cramps lately.
it happens when i was at the toilet washing my face.
my left leg cramps. and i had to wash the soap off while standing on my right leg.
then aft washing, i went to stand in front of the mirror.
vainpot. looking at my face.
then my right leg cramp. great.
the left recovered then comes the right.

2008-04-19T15:23:00.002+08:00

i went to watch the forbidden kingdom ytd with kh.
at downtown east's shopping mall.
which i still dunno what it's called yet.

fantastic. i mean the mall.
it has a indoor amusement park.
haha.

aft the movie we went down to t3.
which i all along thought t3 was the budget term.
and which stupid kh was laughing at me.
and which when kh brought me to the budget term and i laugh..

haha. so big diff lor.
if ever anyone tell me t3 is budget too i'll laugh until my pants drop.

2008-04-16T18:20:00.005+08:00

dwayne is suffering frm a broken heart recently.
had been downstairs talkin to him for the past few days.

i tried runnin ytd again.
must be that i didnt do warm up beforehand.
so it hurts aft a few steps.
so i didnt finish what i was suppose to run.
lousy.

anw i was late for visiting today.
i didnt leave home late.
the bus didnt came aft so long.
but i should have leave house earlier la.
cus it's not the first time im late already.

and then i went to the bank at yishun to update my address.
and seriously, yishun reminds me of when i was small.
feels totally like hougang.
except i dont know why yishun has so many pigeons.

ok then i got home.
and went for a aftnn nap.
and had a nightmare:

it was a v countryside like road.
the road had no curbs and pavement.
sand were the only thing on the ground.
i was reaching the bus stop.
and my bus came. but i had to chase after the bus.
and aft the bus stop alr then the bus stopped.
3ppl came down the bus before i board the bus.
1monk and 2 normal person.
and the 2 normal person was carrying the monk.
feels like the monk fainted or what.
then the 2 ppl carried him to the side of the road.

while i was watching this, i was thinkin whether to offer my help anot.
i had no idea where i am.
as in which part of the bus i was at.
suddenly the bus moved.
and i moved as well.
like as if i was holding on to the bus frm outside.
the bus was moving v fast.
sand blew ard like as if there was a sand storm.
i knew i was having a nightmare already.
but i just cannot wake.
i manage to open my eye slightly.
but closed again. and the dream continues again.
until i force myself to open my eye fully.

woke up in fright. called kh. lol.

then here i am. waiting for my burger king dinner to come home.
and lookin forward to hearing the ahwang 7pm show song.
it's nice and sweet.

2008-04-15T18:02:00.001+08:00

i wan to play Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles - Ring of Fates.
but i dont know why i cant play it on my ds.
smth is wrong somewhere.
i tried dling it frm alot of diff places.
yet, all didnt work as well.

im too pissed to cont blogging.
grrr.

2008-04-10T00:08:00.003+08:00

some things really got me down today.
i dont know when to start.
mood turned worst as time past.

but then, i randomly found a hellokitty hpstrap inside my cupboard
while digging for paperbags.
e strap is so nice lor.
but i cant rem who gave it to me or when i bought it.
totally like a gift frm heaven to cheer me up.

and so, im back to normal.
sulking doesnt get things done.
neither does blaming myself helps.
i still have alot of following-ups to do.

everybody moves on

so does my life.

2008-04-02T22:56:00.003+08:00

gone were the days of sticking out ur hand and get money frm mommy.
gone were the days of having an income and so yet carefree.

i miss my workplace.
miss the uncountable times we went smoking together.
miss the almost uncountable times we went lunch together.
miss the countable times i made mistakes in my work.
miss the handful times i felt alone and outcast in the office.

boohoohoo..

anw got another red bomb.
somebody is getting married.
my wallet is screaming for help.
nevertheless, im still happy for them.

im getting so broke that i hadnt been out for a nice shopping since before cny.

2008-04-01T22:19:00.002+08:00

你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因为太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明

he text me today.
like, so finally.

how can he text me like as if nothing has happen.

but. thinking back, i dont see true love.
in fact. we may not have even started before.
everything was a mistake to begin with.

2008-03-31T15:22:00.003+08:00

woke up early early morning.
suddenly got reminded of the past.
awww...
i hate waking up early in the morn.
i hope i can wake at 5pm everyday.
jus an hr and a half before mummy reaches home.

and my blood vessel is bursting.
my eye hurts. right the spot where Mr. cgh Doctor operated on me.
sharp pains.
then when i pull down and i saw 1 or 2 RED VESSEL(S).
lol. it's not suppose to be RED.
so scary. im hope im nt going blind. :(

it's damn PAINFUL...
but i wanna go out leh!!

everytime treats me likdat!!
wan to go out tt time got this got that.
nothing tt time no places to go.
damn.

wouldnt it be great if i could jus reveal my heart to someone?
instead of communicating.
with communication comes miscommunication.
haha.

anw i jus realised tt i fail in my making to be FULLTIME hsewife.
cus i was boiling water in the kettle.
and i forgot abt it....
and it kept boiling for 1hr.
i heard some noise in the kitchen when i was in my room.
then i tot was some other units making the sound.
i didnt even fkin thought of the kettle.

i better not do tt again..

2008-03-30T21:33:00.002+08:00

i went to school today.
even thou i was 10mins late.
but i still went.
and i didnt fall aslp in class.
actually credits to toastbox kopi o.

and i almost cried today!
not becus of anything but because of my nds.
the stupid game 'professor layton'
make me love and hate.

it's a puzzle game with storyline.
a game with 120 brainteasers.
i tried so hard to solve everything.
in the end i cant. and i was screaming and pulling my hair.
and tears swelled up in my eyes.

but in e end i completed the whole game in 15 hrs.
of cus not continuous la.
but the total hrs i spent on tt game was 15.

sot alr. i love the brainteasers but it makes me feel stupid.
u know u know? tt kinda feeling.
u wanna challenge but when u cant solve, u feel stupid.
argh.. damn.

2008-03-28T22:41:00.003+08:00

i love my neighbourhood.
except for the stray cats, that is.
they distributed a pc of paper to each unit today.

they showed 3 diff coat of painting on the notice board at e lift area.
and on the paper, it says, telling us to vote for our desirable coat of paint for our blk.
haha. i didnt get this kinda privileges previously when i was leaving at hg!

mummy's on leave today.
and she came down to lunch with me at delifrance while i was having my sch break.
i was so reluctant to leave her alone at delifrance while i proceed to sch for handsome's lesson.
she looked so small and vulnerable. -.-

anw, im having lesson on a sunday.
on this coming pathetic sunday.
which means, i cant go saturday drinking.
which indirectly means, poor me.

Oh. and and and..
i've thrown away our movie's stub.
yet another big and cruel step to me to end this relationship.
haha. into the dustbin it goes.
but i didnt throw away the zoo stub.
i've been wanting to go to the zoo even before i met him..
it is not an excuse!

and mummy's bought the muffin making equipment.
im going to make muffins soon.. without him helping nor tasting.

2008-03-26T22:35:00.003+08:00

argh. im sorry.
nt too much tt need to be said.
i'll just be repeating myself.

life's a little smooth sailing.
until i feel tt i dont deserve all this.

tml will be a long and lonely day at sch.

2008-03-24T22:35:00.008+08:00

LG released 2 more colours for viewty.
which is the mobile im currently using now.

HOW COULD THEY?

im currently using the black one.

not that black doesnt look nice.
but im just not happy tt when i bought e phone,
it doesnt come with the choice of colour.
and somehow i love e dark silver one too.
argh.. been pissed for 2 days cus of this alr.

anw. mummy had headache for almost a wk now alr.
been to the doctor alr.
doc says if it worsen, she'll have to go to the hosp for scanning.
and my eyes isnt in a gd condition now.

how come 2008 gives us so many health problems?

but still, give me a pat on e back say i did great.
i've learnt to let go of smth tt wasnt suppose to be mine.
aft struggling for so long.

i've change his personalised ringtone and picture in my mobile.
it took me alot of courage to delete the precious 3 text msg frm him.
he's now just like any other normal ppl to me.

goodbye.

2008-03-22T18:06:00.003+08:00

three cheers for the rain.
but however, it spoilt my mood to go for a hair cut.
i hadnt had a haircut for more than 6 mths alr.
no wonder my hair wouldnt grow any longer.

went drinkin with huanbin and his friends ytd.

went supper with kh aft that.

coincidentally met my friend and Obird while drinkin.
my friend reminded me of tt shitass.
and so, had a angry and sad night.
until now i still cant believe im so gullible.
i hope he really means what he says to get it back.

2008-03-21T22:19:00.002+08:00

my ever fav song.
he knows it.
maybe it's tucked in e most inner part of his memory?
haha.

im reserving the name 'Marshall' for my baby boy next time.
all thanks to Eminem.
but dont say too early.
i might be infertile nxt time. HAHA.

anw i saw handsome's muscle today!
it wasnt a wasted trip to sch.
like totally. omg omg.
guess it doesnt really show when u wear shirts.
jus like shawn's and paul's.

ok. stoping. im drooling.

off to drinking.
but mre to the playing side then drinkin side.

2008-03-20T22:16:00.002+08:00

today's weather was a teaser.
it was rainin in e late morning.
and i was still lookin forward to a cold night at hm under my blanket.
who knows. suddenly e evening became as hot as Singapore.

and im even worst off.
aft mummy continuous headache for 3 days alr,
i had diarrhoea for 2 days straight.
and while i was busy gluing my buttocks to my beloved toilet bowl,
mummy walk past me and say

"oh ya hor. tml holiday dont need to work"
then i said. "for u it's gd lor" as i have sch tml morning.
then she replied almost instantaneously.
"aiyo. u tml got sch hor. sry sry"
".........."

im like. so sad la.
everybody's so happening today.
like as if it's xmas or what.
i wanna go too..
be it movies, drinking or meeting up with old friends.
argh....

but tml's lesson is by handsome.
worth the while ah. haha. =X
poor handsome, he has to work on a public too.

6 more days to go before visiting.
hurray!.
i swear to heaven and earth i die die will wake up and be there.
show me the power of love man!

2008-03-19T09:02:00.002+08:00

i hate living under ---.
why is my life is determined by ---.

hw come everytime i debate within myself.
and i made up my mind internally to let all this go
then u have to come back and make me change my mind.
and u dont even know what is happening.

why doesnt anybody come and save me frm this shit.
nobody stop me frm being selfish.

2008-03-18T22:23:00.002+08:00

it's candy floss day today!

just washed the dishes!
like so long i haben done it.
cus mummy's ill!

she came home without my mos burger which i was so excited to gulp down.
and before she reach the doorstep, she called and had me open e gate for her.
poor mummy.

i hate happy families.
cus im jealous.

2008-03-15T15:38:00.002+08:00

i cooked my hand
and splattered my books in coffee ytd.
all just because i wanted my coffee to cool faster.

worst is that i spilled it in class.
was damn paiseh and malu.
i turned to the left and ask this guy if he has any tissuses.
he took a bloody 1min to open his bag and slowly tell me he doesnt have.
then i turned to my right and e lady gave me tissuses, both wet and dry ones.
thank god for her.

and my hand was so bloody pain that i was trembling.

but it's somehow kinda gd.
haha. now everytime i study i'll smell coffee on my bks.

2008-03-13T22:35:00.003+08:00

im fucking happy today.
dont ask me what's with the f word.
im jus too happy until i cant find a gd describing word to use.

maybe the weather?
maybe the school?
maybe the maybe.. haha.

i was like. on the bus, listening to lollipop mika.
and then i felt the happiest.
happiest woman on earth.
for what i dont even know.
perharps it's better that i dont know anyway.
haha.

so tt i'll cont being so fucking happy.

i love the weather now.
it feels like overseas.
except all my friends are still with me.
i love it.

2008-03-12T22:31:00.002+08:00

i went zouk ytd!
like for e first time in my life ok.
haha. cus i dont normally go clubbing.

but we went to a club for pubbing.
club and pub. what's e diff?
one is with drinking one is nt.

ok and i end up drunk.
partially drunk.
and i was like sitting on timo's cousin's leg on the front sit.
cus he wont fking move to the back. and i die die wan to sit in frnt.

and someone was drunk. he even said im the prettiest woman.
than when he's sober he said sorry to me.
so sad. he didnt mean what he fking say. haha.
but we left him sitting on e flr in e ladies while we go pubbing at 97.
like so bad rt. but kinda no choice.

ok and so comes the serious one.
i cant wake up the next day, which is today, to go and visiting him.
i think it's becoming like a habit.
i cant carry on like this.......................

2008-03-09T23:17:00.003+08:00

things are happening v fast and recurring.
why does this always comes back to haunt me aft awhile.

anw i've been tryin to get myself addicted to online games.
but cant.

tried on cabal but it's makin me dizzy and com's kinda lagging.

tried o2jam back again but this time i cant go into e game.
been stuck on the choose channel there and cant advance anymore.
either e game is spoil or my installation has some problems.

thinkin of going back to audition but im too lazy to dl.
and furthermre no one pei me play.

so im back to sq1 again.
nothing to do but stone in frnt of computer all day long.
except occasionally on ndsl.
phoniex wright - apollo justice is out.
and im so much so hooked to apollo justice until i dont dare to proceed further and faster.
in case i finish the game fast and left with nothing to play.
...................................

2008-03-06T23:56:00.002+08:00

sg is turning not like sg anymore.
saw e night news.
some guy stabbed another guy.
and hold 2 commuters hostages in outram platform.
and finally got shot to death by police.
i mean the murderer died.

sg is raved to be a safe country.
why is it turning to be like that all of a sudden.
like so many criminal stuffs suddenly cramp into this period of time.
how cool is that, you think?

been having a fruitless search on msn for him again.
tryin onto some gov sites and hoping to dig out some info.
FRUITLESS.
where the fuck are you.........

2008-03-05T22:27:00.002+08:00

MY CAKE LOOKS TOTALLY DELICIOUS.
ok the moment of truth.
it does taste quite ok.
except for the whipped cream which taste abit.. erm..
weird.
it's not spoilt nor sour or anything.
just weird.

ok the king's gonna retire frm his seat in 1 and half hr time.
happy birthday.

having sch tml.
long thurs and friday........

2008-03-04T22:07:00.002+08:00

chef taiying speaks:
haha! my cake stil looks like a cake right!
my first attempt. haben tasted it yet. so dunno pass or fail.

anw my cake is v flat la! i didnt whip it enough.
so it's only half a size of a normal cake.
but i whipped it for an hr leh!
hugging the mixing bowl, holding a whisk on my right hand
watchin bleach on animecrazy. FOR AN HOUR.
until my hand got blister alr.

and yes, the white stuffs looks like icing suga. but it's whipped cream.
didnt put alot of whipped cream cus he cant taste milk.
how can someone dont like whipped cream.
how can someone vomit at the smell of milk!!??

AND
whipped cream is not easy to make!
i cut open the packet and it's all watery.
scare me! i tot i bought the wrong thing.
then i went youtube and watch on 'how to make whipped cream'
u have to whipped it frm liquid form to semi solid!
so hard. ok so he whipped the cream. not me. haha.

and i keep tellin him.
"hello, im the chef today. dont tell me what to do hor. FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS!"
haha.

his big day is tml. so the cake is saved for tml.
results of tasting will only be out tml.
i wonder how it taste like. my first attempt. ;)

2008-03-03T22:05:00.002+08:00

cake baking is tml.
im so lookin forward to it.
i hope it turns out fine.

anw mummy bought pork floss back.
was bothering her to buy it for quite sometime.

i cried at the kopitiam today!
luckily there were only 3 ppl at the kopitiam.
i swear im nv going kopitiam to eat again.

a bird flew so near to me.
and he was away talkin on e phone.
damn. then i cried.
then i found a strand of hair in my noodle.
mine or the vendor's i dont know.
but do u even eat ur own hair?
and flies buzzing ard.
nv ever... again.

walk back the old routes today.
went to punggol plaza and bought bubbletea again.
then to punggol mrt.
just that i was on a motorbike then, motorcar now.
and a totally diff person beside me.

the gd old times i'll nv forget, my dearest.

2008-03-02T20:12:00.002+08:00

no more water in the kettle.
and im reduced to drinkin tap water instead.

jus finish flipping thru wanbao.
so the police classified mas selamat the same rank as osama.
and his limbs actually dont look lame if he walks at normal speed.

how difficult to identify then..

went bq for consecutive 2 nights.
but didnt ger drunk on both nights!
yea, so i acutally did honour my promised nt to get drunk.
and both days i wake up perfectly fine.
stomach didnt feel uneasy and such.

i shall maintance it likdat.

2008-03-01T16:16:00.002+08:00

went boatquay drinkin ytd.
cus oldbird claim it was a special day ytd.
yea, talkin abt the leap yrs tt only occur once in 4 yrs.

we were joking abt gettin married on tt day.
so couples can save up the money and only celebrate weddin anniv once every 4 yrs.

didnt get so drunk ytd.
so felt okay when i woke up.
haha. hurray!

mike was talkin abt qiang.
really miss him.
he can really drink!
but i guess aft he comes out his liquor strength wont be like last time le.
miss miss.

but i didnt wake up in time to go shoppin with sr.
suppose to wake at 12 but i woke at only 3.
so later im going hgmall with mummy.
everytime i go hgmall im sure to coincidently bump into old friends.

im going to buy baking 'equipments' later.
and gonna bake my cake on coming mon, tues or wed.
mummy was quite happy when she heard tt.

2008-02-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

heard the news of the escape of JI leader?
damn scary. gives me the creeps.
http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_211363.html

furthermore he's lame.
i wonder how he escape frm the toilet initially.

he's planned to hijack a plane and crash it into changi airport before.
what if he's gonna bomb orchard tml?
pls don't. i'll be at orchard schooling tml.

i am scare..

anw im plannin on baking a cake.
haha. surprised?
nah. i was plannin to bake a cake since last yr july for mummy's birthday.
i even bought the whisk alr.
jus tt didnt find receipe or flour. haha.

hmm. i wan a mango cake. =)

2008-02-28T00:08:00.002+08:00

i just read thru my friendster's msg.
and guess what i saw. oooh.

someone who i doesnt know actually msg me commenting on me.
and leaving me no space for self denfense.
u shouldnt have restrict ur msging.
otherwise we could have some friendster msging war going on right nw baby.

so, to L,
words dont get me down.
furthermore i don't even know u to begin with, honey. ;)

2008-02-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

yawns.. so tired.
i fell aslp while watchin gong zhu xiao mei on telly @ 8pm.
and carry on sleepin lying on e sofa until 9.15pm.

i am really v tired.
yet i cant slp when my bedtime comes.

i have this stupid habit of not slpin when e time comes.
and i can only slp well when im not suppose to slp.
when i know i have somebody busy workin ard me.
example lik mummy's awake or walkin ard.
only then i can slp well. and in peace.

i dont really know how to explain also.
i hate my stupid habit.
haha.
i really wanna slp. im so so tired.
which is, in turn, turning me into a foul mood lady.

2008-02-27T00:59:00.002+08:00

everything's proceeding smoothly.
hehe. mummy starts talkin to me alr.
no prob!

but sometimes i wish i have a bigger family.
few yrs back i was happily sayin luckily i dont have a complete and big family.
if nt there will be so many ppl to control me and stuffs similiar.
but now. no.

i wish i had a big brother and a small sister.
i wish i had a compete and happy family.
i wish i could find him.
i wish we could all spend some time together.
complete with the impossible big bro and small sis.
arghh...

i envy ppl with big and happy family.

2008-02-25T13:46:00.003+08:00

ahh. peer influence.
what did i do??

seems like a nightmare.
full of regrets.

im sorry, friends who think i've turned gd.
but i did.
those close to me should know i've really turn good.
but i know disappointment stil exist.

all i can say is, sorry.

----------------------------------------------------

shit shit.
mummy's ignoring me.
and worst of all, i dunno how to face her.
she jus act like nothing happen. wouldnt talk to me.
but still cook dinner for me.

didnt exchange more than 5 sentences of words.
terrible feeling.
i hate this disappointment feeling that i can feel.

little bit scare of e visiting on wednesday.

dunno how to explan. i hope qiang wont be disappointed as well.

anw i met e most ungentlemanly man on earth this wkend.

shall not eleborate in case he finds out. haha.
ungentlemanly and bombish.

disappointed is such a big and powerful word.

10.47pm.

2008-02-22T23:23:00.003+08:00

i keep on forgeting what i wanted to blog about.
oh well, nvm.

losing interest in schooling.
most prob it's because i only study for 2 days a wk.
and hey! im gettin used to not working.
i dunno if i should feel happy or not.
cus if i start working again, i will cry.

yes. cry.
every new work i go i cry the day before i start work.
i don't know why this emotion sickness comes to me.

i feel so spoil and rotten inside my body now.
stomach's not feeling well again. must be too full.
yet im craving for things to bite
but stomach cant take it lah!

poor me.

congrats to sg for winning the bid for YOG.
i love sg. hearts.
anw XBai direct me some funny videos at youtube.
includes a bunch of ppl >100 doing funny things at e same time.
one of it was to suddenly freeze in e crowded area.
and it's alot of ppl doing it at e same time.

so, yea. funny. ;)
cheered me up for awhile.
but it becomes boring again.

had delicious lagsana for lunch today. haha.
and let me tell u what did stewart and i did in classroom today.

we took turns puttin stuffs in. First off was random helloKitty, Pig and Tortoise.
then comes the road, sun, grass, mountains and cliff.

and say hello to stewart's new friend at mac.

he's dressed in sesame top and has a bright red proud mane.
haha. not funny?

uh-oh...

love me.

2008-02-20T22:17:00.003+08:00

ok skip e foul mood.
im alot better alr.

ytd i asked this guy.
he was attached with his gf for quite some time alr.
i asked him if there's stil love btw them both.

surprisingly, he said yes.
he's e first guy who ever said yes.
make my jaws dropped onto e floor
and penatrate into 18 floor of hell.

love will becomes a commitment, responsibility and eventually a habit.
many might nt realise when their love changes into habit.

concludes. i cant even make sure my love wont change to a need eventually.
i cant even trust relationships anymore.
after i witness how fragile a few-yrs-long relationship is.

i am a bad girl.
i brought misery to other people.
sooner or later, i'll get into trouble.

2008-02-20T13:20:00.002+08:00

im probably feeling the lowest point of e mood chart in my life
feel so down and low..
randomly hates everything tt im doing now.
tired of everything and doesnt want to be god's puppet anymore.

i can wear contact lenses again!

went drinkin ytd night.
i think im gettin old or my body is gettin bad.
i cant drink anymore. i'd just keep vomiting.
and heart beating v fast now.
body trembling. no strength.

btw i jus went to vomit and shit.
so now my body is completely empty.
yet my hse doesnt have anything tt sounds nice to eat.
lousy...

i wish for someone to take care of me when i feel so sucidial.

2008-02-17T17:18:00.002+08:00

my eye's makin me stay at home for 1 wk plus alr.
not to mention going nearby places.
i want to go shoppin badly.

i think im going crazy stayin at home.
....................

p/s i hate it when i cant shout out loud that i like u.
i hate it when we both feel e same way and yet do nothing abt it.
i hate it when u told me abt happy stuffs u both did.
i hate it when i need u more then u need me.
i hate it when u're such a coward and did nothing for me.
i hate it when u disappoint me again and again.

i hate myself because i like you.

2008-02-15T18:24:00.000+08:00

felt lost when i just woke up.
nobody's at home as usual.

stomach's stil e same uneasy.
cook porriage for myself.
plain porriage with dried scallops.
suddenly wished to have someone to cook for me.

but im better now.
except that block and runny nose came at 3 plus.
and my nose remained heavy for 3 hrs.
sneezed until my eyes were painful.
swallowed some painkillers.

mummy's buying sushi back for dinner.
so lookin forward to it.
if i really cant finish sushi then im really sicked.

ought to bath first then start my sushi meal at 7. =)

2008-02-14T22:07:00.004+08:00

i jus pratically survived on love and plain water today.
stomach is turning bad.
i didnt eat anything for e whole day.
yet i cant manage to finish whipped potato frm kfc.

feels like vomiting with every spoon.
yet im so hungry.
i need some appetiser.

feels like im going spoil.

went to sch for only half an hr.
then i realise i cant take it anymore.
my eye hurts.
im having bad cough.

tt concludes, doc dont give u mc for no reason.
you need to stay at home and rest.

and i jus called up changi gnl hosp.
they asked me to stop my eye cream since my eyeball turns bloodshot aft applying.
yay! no more stinging pain...

met him for few hrs today.
suddenly feel like this cant go on.
yet, we both choose to carry on.
cant control is not an excuse to carry on like this.

2008-02-13T17:08:00.002+08:00

and i went visiting today.
it was e happiest visiting this half a yr.
we were so happy. no tears.
joking ard. so happy. hais.

did i mention the medicine tt i got frm changi hosp was e same frm e clinic?
& i didnt apply e ointment frm e clinic cus it was painful.
and now i have no choice.
i NEED to apply e lotion no matter how painful .
if nt it won't heal..

so i need to feel sharp stinging pain 3 times a day.
and feel like smth's in ur eye for e rest of e day.
for an entire wk! oh man.

yawn yawn. i feel so tired.
yet i cant slp. only can rest my eye and nt fall aslp.
it's v hard u know. need some skill..
if i fall aslp then i wont be able to slp at night.
then i wont be able to wake up for sch tml.

im having mc for 3 days. yet im going to go out for sch and visiting this 3 days.
hope nothing goes wrong with my eye.
i dont have a choice.. i cant miss my classes la!.

and my eye's stil abit swollen leh.
im afraid e doc didnt take out e germs completely.
then i have to go for operation again??! hais.
i hope it's only temp. aft a while then not swollen alr.

HAPPY VAL DAY IN ADVANCE to all couples.
im not gonna celebrate val day. cus i hate any festive seasons.
so i shall act like i dont know val day is coming.
lalala~

2008-02-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

i shallnt talk abt how painful my surgery was today.
cus e moment i recall e surgery, my eye starts to hurts.
and im stil stickin a blood stained eye patch on my face.
so tell me how painful do u think it is?

anw it's smth copied frm friendster for dwayne.
i mentioned to him that we shall not high-fived anymore.
and recited a little bit of this for him.

so dwayne, this is for ya.

..a smile leads to a laugh

...a laugh leads to a high 5

...a high 5 leads to a hug

...a hug leads to a kiss

...a kiss leads 2 a makeout

...makeout leads to a feel up

...a feel up leads 2 a finger

...a finger leads to a hand

...a hand leads to a lick

...a lick leads to a suck

...a suck leads 2 a f*ck.

...So tell me how many people are you
gonna smile at after you heard this
cuz sex is like math.

...u add the bed

..subtract the clothes

...divide the legs

...leave your solution

...and pray you dont multiply

2008-02-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

ahhhhh...
feel lik dying.

went back to e clinic as expected.
& e doctor scolded me for nt puttin my eye lotion.
.....
puttin e eye lotion into e eye is painful ok.
feels lik smth's in ur eye.
making u tear.
but i did a gd job dripping e eye drops!
i even force myself awake to drip e eye drop when 6 hrs past.
then back to slp. zz

& then he referred me to changi hosp.
so scary la. hospital seems complicated enough.
actually suppose to go right aft my clinic.
but i intend to go tml morning.
and mummy's taking half day to pei me to the hosp.

im really so scare.
they're really gonna cut my eye.
will they numb me?
i mean. if they numb me, they'll have to inject my face then!
wouldn't tt be super painful? face is super sensitive..

shit shit. joseph jus told me they'll inject my lower eye lids instead.
shit shit. tt sounds even more painful then e face.
SHIT.

but if they doesnt numb me.
then they CUT ME. its painful too...

really afraid.

2008-02-11T00:45:00.000+08:00

i saw my ex boss at hg.
haha.

didnt know he used to live at hg.
and dwayne told me he doesnt look like a mD at all.
haha.

anw. mr dwayne threw me home at 10plus.
left me alone, dunno what to do at home.

heading to plaza in few mins time.
to pass my time playin pokers. haha.

and i've actually gotten used to wearing specs alr.
aft wearing specs for a wk.
but i stil want my contact lenses back.

2008-02-10T16:44:00.000+08:00

feeling damn sad frm e moment i woke.
asked dwayne out for dinner.
hoping to feel a little bit better.

argh...
i shall go play my ndsl till dinner time
to keep my mind off running wild.

ps, i hate every festive season.

------------------

shit shit shit.
almost a wk since my eye swelled up.
mummy says she'll bring me to see e doc again tml.
im scare of e 'operation'.
shit shit.
my eye's nt painful anymore.
but e swell still remains.
help meeee~.........................................

2008-02-09T15:40:00.000+08:00

internet has been down for a few days.
and i've called singnet 4 times in a day.
& they came down to fixed my phone line below my blk.

went drinkin last sat with cheryl @ smwhere near bugis.

she was forced by me to take a full bod picture in frnt of e crowded pub.
hence the expression.

and so came tuesday.
the day i've been waiting for.

but damn god i got swollen eyes on tt day.

went to the doc and then to the zoo.
and came the lunar new yr eve.

dwayne came down and chat with me.
cheering me up. haha. and high-fived with me.
and we caught e fireworks which was jus beside my hse.

and then to hg ave 3 to sit beside him while he's mahjonging.
wearing my contact lenses for damn 5 hrs i think, despite my eye infectn.
and i went hm at ard 5 or 6.
was suppose to go jb on e first day of the lunar new yr.
yet i cant wake up and made my mummy damn disappointed.
which in turn makes me guilty and sad too.

2nd day of the lunar nw yr was to relative hse.
they told me i should go and 'operate' on my eye.
i mean, the doctor will pull down ur eye and cut the inside.
sounds so ouch right.
was thinkin of doing that today but when i woke up, hey! it seems better.

and i went to boatquay ytd night.

for the first time in my life.
i didnt put on any make up to boatquay.

and for the first time in my life, i wear specs to boatquay.
damn stylo right.

tt is to say, when u're gettin older, appearance doesnt matters as much anymore.

2008-02-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

Don't Cry
Guns & Roses

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Fantastic song.
and it somehow makes me cry even though e title spelled dont cry.
lols.

jus had my 2008 reunion dinner.
stuffed myself silly with food.
and how i feel lik vomiting.
and somehow got swayed by cheryl.
thinkin of going drinkin even though im tired and full.
which makes it a v good mood to slp.

2008-02-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

went for visiting on wed.
disappointed with him.
den down to canto.
but e insp wasnt there.
so gary had to make an appt with him to take back qiang's bike later in e mth.

went to sch on thurs.
startin was bored and uninteresting.
e first lesson of e wk was super boring lecturer.
who had a sissy ang moh accent.

did i say starting was uninteresting?
yea until ard 4pm.
was having a brk frm my lesson.
when i came out of e room frm refilling my water bottle,
i saw my damn fav moustache lecturer.
haha. he was playin with his colleague.
smiling.

den our eyes met for lik 0.5s.
and i went back to class.
aft class at 5pm, i went outta e classrm.
e moment i open e door, i saw him again!
woah. he took e same lift as me.
den i was like grining frm starhub centre to dhoby ghaut la.
looking so silly and all tt.

oh and thursday, happy last day to mr paul the ex-chauffeur to osram.

ok, so comes today.
i attended e fav lecturer's lesson.
but dun seem to see happy to see him alr.
haha. cus ytd i didnt have his lesson, yet i saw him.
so coincidence.

we are going to the zoo zoo zoo
how about you you you
you can come too too too
we are going to the zoo zoo zoo.

looking forward to nxt wk and cny.
loves.

2008-01-29T18:41:00.000+08:00

i actually got lost twice at lavender!
how stupid is that.

and i asked e security guard if there's a postbox nearby.
and he directed me to singpost la!
which was like 2 street across. and i almost got lost.
somemore i saw sickly pigeons.
a few pigeons jus keep flappin their wings, unable to move.
so disgusting! like got some diease likdat.
den a bagadash was using barehands picking them up frm e grass
and puttin them into a plastic bag.
disgusting right!

so i succeeded in makin my way to the singpost 2 street across.
and when i finish doing my stuffs at e ICA,
i saw a postbox jus outside e mrt.
DUMB RIGHT.

and when i finish my stuffs,
was lookin for e busstop.
and i got lost again.
asked some passerbys but nobody knows.
haha.

and i jus remembered i was suppose to go sch on monday or what.
which was ytd.
cus 2 of my classes clashed.
and e repeat lesson was on monday.
but no choice. since monday has alr past.

have visiting tml.
i must wake up in time.
if nt i can jolly well kill myself already.
and aftwards have to bring his bike to his bike shop.
dunno by how also.
towing needs money...
yet both of us doesnt have license.

suddenly, my free days seems to pass v fast.
like awhile ago i jus went schooling.
den 2 days later schooling again.
haha.

2008-01-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

Chasing Pavements
Adele.

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
if I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
i know this is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,

And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
should i just keep chasing pavements?
oooh...

Don't need to think it over,
if I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
i know this is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,

And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

2008-01-28T11:12:00.000+08:00

went drinkin on sat with cheryl.
thus, all e dark dark pictures taken while we were outside smoking.

and my ever famous labbit teeth.

"lets see who looks more like a rabbit" cheryl says.

went town on sunday
and i present u..........
was sittin in frnt of tangs and suddenly i saw this poster.
like so.. wow.

& dwayne took this while he was exploring my phone.
was having my fav fish soup with rice.

and i need to go ICA soon.
so tired and hungry.
argh.. i wanna eat!!
wish i could teleport straight to ICA.
i remembered e canteen there had nice yong tao hu...
lol.

2008-01-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

rec'd qiang's cny card.
damn happy la!
& i told my ex-co im going back lunch and sun bian take ang bao.

he told me. wait ah.
den i replied. wait simi.
he said..... wait long long.

haha. damn spoiler.

everything's going smoothly nw.
i mean. even thou it's nt what i wanted.
but stil kinda enuf.

to those who has been pestering me for my lecturer's photo.
the one with e moustache and goatee! haha.
p/s: he wears specs in classes!

& anyway dear mr lim kinda promised me to let his moustache grow already.
yes, but i know. slience is nt acceptance........
and a few days ago, we jus realised that our initials are e same!
T.Y

been on a one day tour to temasak poly with shurong and stewart.
haha. what to say...
poly's life really wasting time!
as in, the lessons are so far apart.
and most of e ppl slp on benches.
but e food is nice and cheap!
only $3 for a plate of chicken chop with baked beans, fries and coslaw.

random pictures stolen frm mummy's phone

photo taken when i first permed my hair.
like a yr ago already?

and mummy looks super cute in this 2 photos.

so i stole it =X

2008-01-21T22:14:00.000+08:00

jus finish watchin the golden path.
ending is super unexpected.
however, proves that bad guy doesnt have gd ending.
but the womens are most innocent and unfortunate.

anw! the bat ku mei was really clever!
to put e note "if im died, the killer must be XXX"
so stylo la!
and another thing to note!
if. i mean if, one day, u were murdered.
pls pls remember to scratch e killer!
cus e skin tissuse will get trapped in ur fingernails.
and most killer forgot to clean tt part when they destroy all e evidence.
haha.
ok. i'll stop foolin ard.

and jinlong died for the bat ku mei.
why? even without her, he stil can survive what.
why she die jinlong also must pei her?
is this e defination of "die for u"

or does "die for u" soley means exchangin my life with ur life.
like titanic. when e ship sanked.
e floatin door on e sea could only hold 1 person.
so jack let rose got on top of e wood.
while he froze to death in e waters.

what does "die for u" stands for?

2008-01-21T17:02:00.000+08:00

jus watched shen diao xia nu first few esp.
and meanwhile, hopin tt my ozworld will dl faster.

well, im back to playin oz.
some online game i used to play when i was sec 2.
haha.
i've decided to get myself hooked on online games.
but nt maple already.
so, tt explains.

but i've been dling it for a long long aftnn.
connectn has been resetting.
rt nw it's stil stucked at 32%..
awwwwwwwwww..

http://oz.ongameport.com/

2008-01-20T01:19:00.000+08:00

my post on e 17 of jan was screwed.
so, to anyone who manage to get a glimpse of e post
congrats!
cus even i forget what i've typed.

went out with mummy today.
didnt go out with her for long long time.
went chinatown.
really alot of ppl. and smth's going on at chinatown.
mummy told me she heard fireworks when i was in e fittin rm.
& she thinks it's e lights up ceremony.
and i saw a damn lot of lions.
i mean e lion dance tt lion.
super interesting. i wanna see!b
ut minus e sound la. haha.

and guess what we had for dinner!
sharkfin abalone!

mummy's really good! haha.

and shit shit. val is coming.
heartaches..
haha.

2008-01-16T11:05:00.000+08:00

i am a bad girlfriend.
i woke up late and missed e visiting hrs.
i hate cabs!
cab fare are suppose to be rising.
and no one takes cab anymore.
so y cant i get a cab when its nt even peak hrs!

but its my fault.
i cant blame taxis.
i am really bad. he must have felt super disappointed.
i hope everything turns out fine.
it's nt tt i dunwan to go. im like in a series of unfortunate events!
hais. was still lookin forward to today.

they should met already.
wonder what they are talkin abt.
is he v sad inside?
i hope he's fine.
i am really sorry for lettin him think so much.
lettin him imagine the worst.
it wasnt on purpose.
i am really sorry.

ytd night went running.
hopin to acheive my target of 3 rounds ard compass.
and by 1 round i mean frm old int to shell.
but i cant lah. leg was painful frm the day before.
and super tired also.
so i only manage one round.
and i know stewart's waiting to see what dumb excuses i come out with for failing.
haha. all cus of him la.
i was runnin tt one round. and he walked.
he walked as fast as i run....
and gives me a low low morale.

painful ard the ankle.
feel like choppin off my ankle.
and this is it!
i saw veins on my leg.
althou they are nt popin out.
but this is it! im quittin running.
i dunwan my leg to be popin out veins.
hais.

jus no mood to do anything.
i feel so damn bad.
i am a bad girl.
i am a bad girlfriend.
i am a bad bad bad bad girl.
it is nt tt i cant do it.
it's jus tt i didnt make an effort to do it.
i am so so bad. i even hate myself now.

2008-01-15T16:00:00.000+08:00

i woke up at 3! hurray!
long time since i slp until so late.
dunno y im so tired.

woke up and wipe e window grills.
and 4 window panes.
when suddenly i realised it looks lik its gonna rain.
so what's with cleanin and wipin e panes dry when its gonna rain again.
and so, i left my bucket and cloths by e window
lazy to clear up. haha.

mummy jus reminded me CNY is coming soon.
yet i haben done my shopping.
nt even 1 piece of ny clothing.
shit man!

2008-01-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

it suddenly occur to me.
do cats and dogs have feelings?

yes, dogs do. i know.
but cats?
and worst. trees?

seriously i dun think trees should be classified under living things.
true, trees grow. and reproduced. etc etc.
but trees doesnt show emotion.

will trees get lonely?
since they cant be planted together.
its like.. they cant be together. if nt they'll be fighting for survival.

ok. this post is absurd.

jus went running.
feel so.. how to say..
like everything's bottled up inside me.
so many stuffs i wan to shout out to ppl who are willing to listen.
yet i dunno how to start.

so, jus went running in hope of letting everything out.
but out of 100% it only helps 30%.
so im left with 70% bottled up.
and den when it reaches tml night, it'll be 100% again.
den i'll go running again..
and den repeat itself...

jus asked a significant question today.
and e cruel truth revealed itself.
but i dont know y it dont get me down.
maybe its because im slowly trying to let go of my grip already.
the grip which is making him harder and harder to breathe.

awww.. so irritated by my emotions.
be happy, and strong!

2008-01-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

jus re-watched titanic.

truely the most significant love story.
the willingness to forsake everything elses for each other.
their lives i mean.
even thou they hadnt been together for long.
say, 2wks?

tt's e real defination of "i'll die for u"

aside frm e lovey-dovey btw jack and rose.
it's still totally saddening.
at e start of e movie, when dey showed e happy faces of ppl boarding e ship
i cried already la!

ok, so i woke up v early today.
& spent my time watching movies until 4.
doesnt have any plans to go out later on or tml.
my life's as plain and simple as u can see.

argh im suffering from depression frm titanic.
stil feeling so sad.....
life is fragile.
pls, love ur loved ones like there's no other day.

2008-01-13T19:48:00.000+08:00

how do i summarise ytd..
practically i was jus slpin frm 12 to 6am.
first time likdat. haha.
its either im too tired cus my internal clock haben adjust yet.
and i keep wakin up at 8 even thou i slp v late.
or it's tt i had a drop too many.

anw. pictures frm ytd.
some gayish pictures of stewart's friend.

and then he's not happy tt i said he's gay.

feel lik going running.
but it jus rained heavily.
so i expected outside to be 'flooded' and cold.
and im having runny nose already.
but i really wan to go and run badly.
to drain all my energy out and sweat to make me feel better.
maybe i should jus go for a walk, anw my dinner yet disgested.

smth made me real sad ytd.
he say this and show me that.
do he really mean what he say?
so as to not let her feel angry or sad, he scolded me.
he let her comment abt me.
he said he understand how i feel.
but did he actually stop and think abt how i felt when he scolded me. again.

we dont even have e time to talk now.
last time, we could still stay out to 10pm.
but now, only few hours a wk.
everything feels like falling apart.
if he doesnt take risk for me, one day, he'll find me gone.

few days ago, someone asked if i have a boyfriend.
i replied, if u define a boyfriend as someone who place u no.1 in his heart and will be there for u when u needed him to, then i dont have.

2008-01-12T17:10:00.000+08:00

its raining man!
woah.. fat hope.

thunderous raining now.
by right rain with thunder should be over soon.
but this full of thunder rain seems to rain like forever.

stewart's birthday drunk session is later.
haha.
looking forward to.

and hurray! one of my lecturer is v handsome.
i mean, nt literally handsome.
jus tt he has e moustachee and short stubby goatee..
which makes me totally attracted to him.
and he has a wedding band on his fingers too.. -.-
tOO BAD!
i shall ask all my male friends to have goatee like pierre png.
lols.

argh...
i shall keep myself damn busy and not entertain those sad thoughts coming to my mind.

loves.

2008-01-12T00:12:00.000+08:00

went shopping both ytd and today.
yet i didnt spent more then 150 bucks.
power right. haha.

and right now, im super in love with topshop.
hahas. no mre f21 le. but i stil bought things there lah.
but nt tt enthu anymre.

everything is having sale.
cant wait for sale to go over and see e new season's clothes.
now's all jackets.. tt i cant wear in hot hot sg.
awwwwwwwww.........

2008-01-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

MOTOROLA RAZR2 V8 LUXURY EDITION gold and snakeskin design.

AHH i want tt phone!

damn e gold plated and snakeskin leather esp!

but i jus changed my phone. how sad la!

but i really like it alot alot.

i wanna see it with my own bloody 2 eyes!

2008-01-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

alot of things happen today.

i dont really know how to start.

is it only me or are u suffering as well.

is it really that i didnt try to put myself in ur shoes.

is it really that im unreasonable?

but im glad u understand me.

but no diff it makes.

coming days will be lonely for me, still.

hope e wkends pass faster.

some cute pic of e char tt i like.

doesnt seem to appear much in sg anymore.

ahhh..

2008-01-09T18:04:00.001+08:00

changed blogskin yet again.
this wasnt e original blogskin.
i had it edited.
moved e columns, font & sizes basically.

BUT i havent finish yet. jus too tired today.
shall improve on it nxt time round.
my eyes are getting tired.

and with ref to ytd post, i said i was havin intensive running training.
haha. but it rained. real big.
and i went to e pasar malam for supper.
and braved e rain home. haha.
how many times in ur life can u actually
enjoy taking ur own swt time walking in e rain?
in case u're wondering, my hp misc was tied in a plastic bag frm 7eleven.
so it was perfectly DRY. haha.

having sch tml, so wun be starting my intensive running training tonight.
maybe jus a small run ard my hse.
if nt i dun think i can wear heels tml.
i cant meet cheryl without wearing heels!
man, she's 1.7m tall.
or so i remembered.

shant bored everyone with words.
didnt go out nowadays so no pictures.
shall upload, if any, tml.

loves.

2008-01-08T15:59:00.000+08:00

i am happy today!

and alot of ppl also agree tt e friendster horoscope is ZUN!
way to go man! go check out ur horoscope reading today!

and i have intensive running training later.
haha. yea i call it intensive cus i set goals already.
will be back to update if i've reach my goal anot.

happy happy! thanks for everything boy.

---------------------------------------------------

how saddening!
it suddenly started raining at 9 plus when i was plannin to run at 10.
awwww... bloody rain.
doesnt come when i wan it to.
but came crashing down when i dunwan it to.

anw lets jus talk abt today.
was suppose to go shopping at orchard.
and then suddenly some outta e mind fella didnt go to work..
pei him to the doctors' and cancelled my shopping.
i was still so excited ytd night till i cant fall aslp. lols.

& i made a fatal mistake! haha.
i always tot of runny nose as running nose. lols.
with reference to e running tap what.
no ppl say runny tap right.
lols. its funny when aft so many yrs then u realise ur mistake.

tml's gonna be a boring day again.
i crashed today's shopping. so tml wont have ppl to pei me shop le.
should i or should i not go shopping alone.
i mean. i dun have anytthing to buy la! but i jus wan to go out.
and im stil debating within myself.

and i run outta cigg. finally i have a chance to buy it at 7eleven.
wil update if they even asked for my ic or not. haha.

he's really stressed over work.
i mean really stressed. and he even frowns in his sleep.
within 2 mths he took 2 mcs.
idk how or what to advice him.
and yet, i only know how to stress him more.

it wasnt so bad when i left.
but its gettin worst for him.
makes me afraid of my job nxt time too.
what to do if workplace is stressful and yet u have to be responsible?

and tt links me to my future.
future is scary. what lies ahead we dont know.
every small decision we make now forms part and parcel of the future.

and i know jolly well ppl have to leave someday.
but i will miss my mother.
NOOOOO.................

10.44pm

2008-01-07T09:08:00.001+08:00

woke up early to have breakfast with someone.
and yet tt someone didnt go for breakfast today.
so unexpected. haha.
so i ended up downstairs my house where i was jus standing 10 mins ago.
and i wasted busfare to and back.
haha.

i was talkin to him on e way back home frm e unfruitful trip.
and asked smth.
will things changed if i had known u before nov?
he didnt ans. so i ans myself.
i said. since nothing can be done anymore, i'll jus think what i hope to hear.
haha.

things really shouldnt been seen too clearly.
and i shouldnt know too much.

but anw.. i have practically nothing to do.
and im going to peek into my thick business law book later on.
and see if there's anything interesting things tt catches my attention.
haha!

&& im seriously praying for dinner tonight.
hasnt had tt feeling for long.

lotsa ppl say they care.
yes, talk is easy. talk is cheap.
but when i really needed them, where are they?
p/s im not talkin abt sr. i love her too much to hate her. lols

and i jus discover my pri sch friend's blog.
interesting la! and den this is what was in e blog.

"One of it was that everyday after school (Primary 5/6), which was 6pm, i would hang out with Wan Ting, Tai Ying and Kok Yong to chat around or just have some drinks. We would talk about almost anything. At that time, we would all buy "Tian Yu Di Lu Cha" from the mama shop for only 50cents. All of us will stay around till almost 8pm until we start to go home."

lol. really triggered my memory man!
alot of memory tucked away in e back of my brain.
and it all jus starts to come back only when reminded.
worst! i even misremembered something.
haha. i mean. like aft remembering something for, say 5 yrs.
den u realised what u remembered was wrong.
haha.

really missed my pri sch friends.
had some mass msn conversation. proposing a gathering or some sort.
then everybody start to chu pattern already.
all e diff diff type of power, swords. haha.
projects, overseas, misc misc..
ok i might be super free and might nt be able to understand.
but surely jus pluck out one day would be fine?
what's worst, my sec sch classmates dun keep in touch anymore.
those days, it is suppose to be left there and forgotten?
im really envious of ppl having gatherings.

and radio's yakking abt romance.
is love selfish? or is love noble?
quoting wat everyone says
"love is letting ur loved one be happy. and tt includes letting him/her go"

but y.. is letting him/her go really love?
arent u suppose to fight for love like its e end of e world?
giving in everything u have and love him/her like there's no other day left.
and after making tt comment, i realised im like a devil . haha.
its not tt i enjoy seeing ppl in a dilemma but i jus dunwan to give up smth tt i love
like seeing a bag u love in e shopping mall.
its a one and only pc in singapore.
but its reserved.
would u go and argue with e salesperson?

talk abt shopping, i wish i had e courage to go shoppin alone.
zzz..............

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so no dinner tonight yea?
hais.
when i heard tt i cried.
dunno y. lol. jus cried.

and i was sleeping for abt an hr likdat.
den suddenly my hse phone rang. mummy called.
she asked me abt handphone stuffs.
den aft she hang, my crying comes again.
shit shit what is wrong.
i think im at home and have nothing to do.
den i jus sit in front of e mirror and cry. it's freaky.
and i do not wish to be likdat.
but yet i dunwan to go out and find work.
but i feel so unproductive at home.

what should i do...................................................

2008-01-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

ahah! i really go running.
and i know im improving.
haha. and while applying lotion, i felt my leg muscle man!
i mean. not those stylo milo one.
but stil got ok. last time dun have one.
haha.

this time i took e same route as e first day.
and suprisingly i didnt stop.
yay! i can finally dun stop
haha.

anw today was boring.
keep finding ppl to go out with me.
yet, no result. argh..
i still have alot of presents and blah blah owing.
and e taka vouchers.... hais.

2008-01-06T15:40:00.000+08:00

ahh bad dream scare me.
i slpt at 3plus. yet woke at 12pm.
im suppose to slp 12 hrs!!
bad nightmare!!

i dreamt tt i went to japan!
and left mummy alone.
and it was on mummy's birthday tt i went.
im so bad lah!! i was in jpn, talkin to mummy on e phone..
crying and crying. saying i wanna go home and celebrate with her.
i mean. really saddening.
i love her. but jus tt i dont say it out normally.
i really do.......

2008-01-06T01:52:00.000+08:00

today was nothing!
yea nothing.
didnt go out didnt go jogging didnt everything.

should let my leg rest before going running again.
but my enthu gonna fade already. haha.
but yea, exercise is e key to get into shape.

and im really getting sick and enough of e irc spamming!
it seems that the "ME" in irc wasnt jus giving phone numbers.
supposely it seems like "I" was having a private conversation with them.
i mean im really angry until i scold people who start calling my mobile.
twice today!
and it happens on wkends and public hols.
my mobile was peaceful on wkdays leh.
haha.

sucks to be you, whoever who did this.
but but BUT. it dun get me down. instead, it jus add colors to my life. haha.

2008-01-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

today was business law.
damn boring at first. but starting to get interesting.
haha. so say e truth i'd prefer theory based paper.
but they say theory based are harder.
yea, cus no definate correct or wrong ans, if u know how to twist ur ans.

and leg hurts like fook for 3 days continous running at night
dun even dare to go running or out now.
afraid tt veins would come out at e back of my leg if i overstrained.
i wish i could walk on my hands now.
so painful!

and i was wrong! i wasnt v free when sch starts.
i mean. yea, i have rewriting notes to do, dvds to watch, lunchs with friends to keep to.
im busy busy busy && i wish sch doesnt start so soon.
haha.

and im not getting anywhere skinner.
i jus ate mac.........

and i realised im a typical scorpio!
cus both e newspaper and e hororscope at friendster was v ZUN!
here's friendster's :

There is a chance you'll get something you have been wanting for a very long time.
In Detail
The give and take between you and your people has been out of balance for a while, but today things will start getting back to a proper equilibrium. Whether you need to receive more or give more, you will be ready to do whatever it takes to keep your closest relationships healthy. There is a chance for you to get something you have been wanting for a very long time, but it might require you to deliver bad news to someone you care about. Do you take it, or leave it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and i was eating mac for dinner.
and mummy was reading e newspaper.
when suddenly she read my horoscope reading frm e newspaper.
"should avoid fast food. high cholesterol." .............
and continues "ur room is getting too messy for u to walk. should tidy up on wkends"
.....................................

yes yes my room is v messy!
books and telephone, bags, cds, plastic bags are scattered ard e bed in my room.
cus i dun slp on my room's bed.
therefore it serves as a table instead.
dressing table is abit neater den e com's table.
haha. but both as worst.
i really want to tidy up!
jus tt i mentioned earlier above IM BUSY.
haha.

and my wardrobe is extending frm 3 door cupboard to another room.
yes i start to store my clothes on a rack placed in e empty room of my hse.
gosh gosh! need to tidy wardrobe too.
busy busy..

2008-01-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

hah! i went running with him today.
ran to punggol plaza and cross tpe back.
haha.
but tio suan instead. and suddenly feel lik my runnin to compass ytd was peaNUTS.
haha.
okok let me make tis v clear first.
im runnin for e sake of fun, nothing to do, can slp better, keep in shape.
but his mentality was running for training.
so scary la..!

oh ya today's my first day at sch.
during sch time was boring.
but now, thinkin back was fun.
haha. at least im doing smth useful ok.
and i can go on e diet while schling.
cus i only ate A sushi.
whereas normally i'd have ate breakfast and lunch by 1pm.
haha.

so here's my diet plan going smoothly already.
with exercising and dieting. haha.
nice la!

2008-01-03T00:52:00.000+08:00

yes smth big happen.
but tt doesnt get me down!
another person past by my life again.
and its worst tis time round.
feel so onesided. ppl really change real fast. fakie!

anw had a long jog jus now.
real cool man!
i jog to compass pt nt by st joseph! but by compassvale lrt.
so e pt start frm my hse, bakau lrt.
to compassvale lrt.
to sengkang old interchange.
to shell.
to police centre.
to sengkang old int.
to new int.
to old int.
to new int.
to old int.
to st joseph.
to home.

okay i admit. most of e time im walking.
haha.
but my leg hurts man!
duno how to survive tml.
hais. hafta walk frm ps to starhub centre.
woah!

went lunch with ex-co today.
really miss. but my fav buddy wasnt there.
haha. wasted la!
but yea man! i will be back~

2008-01-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

hais. how many times do i have to keep tellin myself to be happy?
haha. seems lik i keep gettin in and out of e sadness pit.

jus came back frm joggin alone.
phew. jog till ear pain. haha.
maybe cus it was too cold outside.
really v xinku with e diff temp inside and outside of my body.
and i think dinner haben digest yet, so feel lik vomitting.

guess what! i jus check my horoscope at friendster.
it says :
Channel all of your energy. Get to the gym or go dancing. Physical exercise is key.

In Detail
Why are you in such a hurry right now? The goal you're working toward isn't going anywhere, and reaching it early isn't going to earn you any extra brownie points. Have you ever considered the fact that you have more to learn from the process of reaching your goal than from actually reaching it? You'll have to find another place to channel all of your high energy today. Hit the gym. Go dancing. Run around the block. Physical exercise will help you slow your roll.

haha! god! can u feel tt im sad too??
need to do smth to keep my mind off thinking.

and some more pics i forgot to upload ytd.

they are bluetoothing each other photos! like girls likdat.
5 secs isnt enuf for selftimer. haha
miss. love. hugs. xoxo